Liv Life and Don't Be An Asshole (Part 2)

During one of many phone calls to my mother aka my sabbatical accountant, personal assistant, and part-time therapist, she brought up the idea of my brother joining me on my trip. It was a far-fetched idea given the fact that he was still fairly new in his position at work and the fact that it’d be an expense he couldn’t pay for himself. I didn’t allow myself to get overly excited but inside I was hoping he could come to my rescue.

I reached out to Euroventure again and they confirmed that while Neil and I were not eligible for a refund, someone could take his place. I would have to cover the fees to change the tickets to my brother’s name, but this way, the trip wouldn’t be wasted. They also advised me that Neil was able to file a claim with his travel insurance company. I even reached out to Allianz (our travel insurance company) who stated that as long as he had documents to support an eligible emergency (ex: COVID, death, etc.), he would likely get most of his money back. I later learned that Neil couldn’t provide this information which means there was a reason he had to leave that was not supported by insurance. I’ll let your imagination run wild with the possibilities of that. 

A few days later, my mom called with the news that my brother got permission to take time off work to come join me. At this point, it was an emergency for a multitude of reasons. My medications had run out (that’s a whole other story) and I was unable to get refills in Indonesia or Thailand. These medications were life-altering as they included my anxiety and depression medications along with ones for a few less extreme ailments. On top of the medication snafu, I was left alone in a foreign country and did not have the mental capacity to travel solo. I had anticipated spending the next 3.5 months with a friend and was left to pull something together extremely last minute. 

Once again, I questioned if I should throw in the towel and just go home. Maybe I was trying to do too much and I bit off more than I could chew. There were plenty of travel snafus but overall, I had an amazing trip up to that point. Only I could decide on what was best for me moving forward. Thankfully, my ego was a bit too large to give up on my dream trip. I didn’t want to come back home full of regrets and embarrassment because I couldn’t complete something I had been wanting to do for years. Plus, most of the trip was paid for and I would lose a large sum of money by canceling so last minute. 

While it may seem like a vacation to some, my brother was doing me a massive favor. He put his entire life on hold, including an apartment he was trying to rent. Not only that, but it took a whole team to get him out to me. Between an emergency passport, medication refills, travel supplies, and purchasing a plane ticket, my family rallied together and made it work. Countless hours were spent on the phone, driving, researching, and making sure everything was in order so that he could leave the country. Knowing my luck, I refused to get my hopes up until I got confirmation that he was on his flight to Berlin. I was relaxing in my bunk in Koh Samui when I got the text that he was on his way and the feeling of relief I felt was unexplainable.     

The aftermath of my brother taking over Neil’s spot was the most unexpected part of it all. As explained earlier, there was no way that either of us was eligible for a refund due to such a last-minute change in plans. Either I go home and lose out on thousands of dollars and unforgettable experiences, or I pay for my brother to come save his big sister. Our Eastern Europe adventure together was nonstop and often stressful but it was also the best bonding experience we could ask for. We were there to support each other and make the best of a shitty situation. My brother filling in was the best thing that could’ve happened and unfortunately, Neil felt as though he stole the trip from him. 

My family was harassed incessantly to the point where we were getting ready to involve the police. We were publicly slandered with the support of false information by someone whom I had a nearly decade-long friendship with. I was made out to be the villain in a situation that I had no fault in. My brother was ridiculed for helping out his sister in an extreme, unexpected situation. Blame was placed on the company and my family, even though Neil had every opportunity to get his money back with eligible documentation. Unfortunately, he preferred to make everyone else out to be the bad person instead of accepting the blame that he was the one who left me alone in a foreign country. We had initially ended on good terms; I even paid for his expensive Uber to the airport. Unfortunately, the hug would be the last positive experience with someone whom I considered a best friend. It was hard to let go of a friendship but it was even more difficult to get attacked by Neil and his online gang of keyboard warriors. While I know I am much better off without him, I would be lying if I said that it was an easy experience to lose a friend in such a horrendous manner. 

If there is anything I have learned, it’s to rely on yourself before anyone else. Always make sure to have backup plans and never expect anything to follow the correct course. Do not allow the acts of others to push you into reacting or behaving in a way that you are not proud of. There is a way to stand your ground and be respectful, even when feeling like you are backed into a corner. Losing friends is never an easy feat but you can come out on top when you realize that you are better off without them. If they are willing to turn on you and attack your character with false accusations, then they were never that great of a friend to begin with. If you find yourself stranded and at a crossroads, take a deep breath. Examine the facts with a nice large drink of your choice, and never research on an empty stomach. Make a decision that is always in your best interest and while you figure out which path to take, don’t forget to smile and eat dessert first.